Nilbimnarfudfid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, loving crocodile.

Nilbimnarfudfid created time and space seven million years ago.

If you believe in Nilbimnarfudfid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nilbimnarfudfid, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nilbimnarfudfid's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Nilbimnarfudfid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never chant near pigs.

3. Never wear magenta corsets.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Do not take Nilbimnarfudfid's name in vain.