Ranhakditsak is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, capable octopus.

Ranhakditsak created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Ranhakditsak, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Ranhakditsak, it will send you a sign.

Ranhakditsak's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Ranhakditsak's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Ranhakditsak.

2. Retreat if seven hamsters approach from the north.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.