Gunditbif is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unsympathetic penguin.

Gunditbif created a photon four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunditbif, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gunditbif, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Gunditbif's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Gunditbif's Holy Commandments

1. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never eat green fruit.