Megpibquartloop is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, contented tortoise.

Megpibquartloop created vertebrates three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Megpibquartloop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Megpibquartloop, she will have a low opinion of you.

Megpibquartloop's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Megpibquartloop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Megpibquartloop.

4. Megpibquartloop loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

5. Never eat bark.