Zedtaprut is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, self-assured snake.

Zedtaprut created dark matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedtaprut, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Zedtaprut, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Zedtaprut's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Zedtaprut's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate eagles.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Always wear purple.

4. Never paint your chest brown.

5. Never feed lots of turnips to turtles while wearing gray jumpers.