Gepomtyarp is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, sapient dove.

Gepomtyarp created gold five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepomtyarp, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gepomtyarp, he will think nothing of it.

Gepomtyarp's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Gepomtyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear stockings.

2. Never talk about quantum mechanics near capybaras while wearing cyan coats.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not wear orange clothing.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.