Fad is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, uncaring cow.

Fad created the universe eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fad, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Fad, it will turn you into a tree.

Fad's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Fad's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Fad on top of all buildings.

2. Hide from red pigs for they are unholy.

3. Run away from purple turtles, for they are unholy.

4. Do not kill nematodes.

5. Never feed nuts to badgers while wearing trousers.