Fidsanyarjarngodrawvol is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, strong clam.

Fidsanyarjarngodrawvol created a down quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidsanyarjarngodrawvol, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fidsanyarjarngodrawvol, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fidsanyarjarngodrawvol's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Fidsanyarjarngodrawvol's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Never write about chlorophyll.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.

5. Never think about thermodynamics near gulls while wearing purple stockings and balancing three iron spheres on your hands.