Zedcemstik is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, thoughtless dryad.

Zedcemstik created the Sombrero Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Zedcemstik, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zedcemstik, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Zedcemstik's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Zedcemstik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing violet kilts.

2. Never feed lots of coconuts to squirrels while wearing white trousers.

3. Zedcemstik loves mice, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not eat wheat.

5. Do not take Zedcemstik's name in vain.