Barnnartnart is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, almighty beaver.

Barnnartnart created the planet Saturn four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Barnnartnart, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Barnnartnart, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Barnnartnart's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Barnnartnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt horses.

2. Never talk about thermodynamics near tapirs while wearing pink boots and balancing four titanium spheres on your chest.

3. Always make sure there are no seals in a building before entering it.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Retreat if seven frogs approach from the north.