Flapcipcut is a god.

It takes the form of a slender, ruthless crow.

Flapcipcut created Mount Everest three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapcipcut, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flapcipcut, it will try to impress you with trees.

Flapcipcut's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flapcipcut's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of peanuts to grasshopers while wearing gray shorts.

2. Hide if three doves approach from the north.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must never eat apples.

5. Run away from red manatees, for they are unholy.