Arfwegbug is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless mole.

Arfwegbug created Africa five billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfwegbug, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Arfwegbug, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Arfwegbug's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Arfwegbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear fawn rings.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near swans while wearing cyan tights and balancing five titanium spheres on your head.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never talk about gulls.