Zedkopcit is a god.

It takes the form of a small, tiresome crab.

Zedkopcit created parasitic wasps four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedkopcit, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Zedkopcit, it will boil you in a big pot.

Zedkopcit's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Zedkopcit's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.