Arploplap is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unsympathetic jellyfish.

Arploplap created a bottom quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arploplap, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Arploplap, he will destroy your home planet.

Arploplap's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Arploplap's Holy Commandments

1. Never go into black rooms.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Do not dye your hair yellow.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arploplap.

5. Never write about enzymes.