Kamjopwad is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, contented crow.

Kamjopwad created the planet Mars four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamjopwad, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Kamjopwad, he will destroy your favourite star.

Kamjopwad's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Kamjopwad's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Kamjopwad.

2. Never think about thermodynamics near dolphins while wearing brown stockings and balancing three platinum spheres on your face.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. You must pray to Kamjopwad nine times a day.