Nurlwabbogsagxen is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, able walrus.

Nurlwabbogsagxen created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlwabbogsagxen, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nurlwabbogsagxen, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Nurlwabbogsagxen's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Nurlwabbogsagxen's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Do not chop down trees.