Tettikippan is a god.

She takes the form of a large, resourceful wyrm.

Tettikippan created water six million years ago.

If you believe in Tettikippan, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tettikippan, she will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tettikippan's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Tettikippan's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about dark energy near bats while wearing red stockings and balancing eight platinum spheres on your arms.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Run away if four monkeys approach from the west.