Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, awesome dove.

Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob created a bottom quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob, she will turn you into a mole.

Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob's Holy Commandments

1. Sheep are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help manatees.

5. You must love Yogbaffasmatstiphogpitmob.