Nuttkiptarg is a god.

It takes the form of a small, intelligent horse.

Nuttkiptarg created the planet Jupiter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttkiptarg, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Nuttkiptarg, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Nuttkiptarg's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Nuttkiptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured ducks.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Erect six silver sculptures of Nuttkiptarg on top of important buildings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nuttkiptarg.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.