Ontcitxuck is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, benevolent clam.

Ontcitxuck created a bottom quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Ontcitxuck, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ontcitxuck, she will be mildly annoyed.

Ontcitxuck's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Ontcitxuck's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Do not keep three voles in a large pit.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Ontcitxuck.

4. Always treat rats with great respect.

5. Do not eat peas.