Gunlargcut is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, passionate porpoise.

Gunlargcut created silver six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gunlargcut, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Gunlargcut, he will think nothing of it.

Gunlargcut's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Gunlargcut's Holy Commandments

1. Always help voles in need.

2. Do not trade with those who eat gooseberries.

3. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Gunlargcut in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.