Fotsterlin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, happy hippopotamus.

Fotsterlin created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotsterlin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Fotsterlin, he will not invite you to parties.

Fotsterlin's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Fotsterlin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Fotsterlin in the centre of the settlement.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Retreat if seven ants approach from the south.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.