Zigsakyogjan is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, grumpy finch.

Zigsakyogjan created dark energy five million years ago.

If you believe in Zigsakyogjan, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zigsakyogjan, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Zigsakyogjan's most sacred site is Shengyou in China.

Zigsakyogjan's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Do not eat oranges.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.