Bessbumsas Sawsom Vabfitsand is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, two-faced raccoon.

Bessbumsas Sawsom Vabfitsand created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Bessbumsas Sawsom Vabfitsand, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bessbumsas Sawsom Vabfitsand, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Bessbumsas Sawsom Vabfitsand's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Bessbumsas Sawsom Vabfitsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to manatees while wearing ear rings.

2. Never hurt shrews.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Never wear orange shoes.

5. Never wear tights.