Artyogbaf Piglanhiv is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, benevolent rhinoceros.

Artyogbaf Piglanhiv created a charm quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Artyogbaf Piglanhiv, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Artyogbaf Piglanhiv, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Artyogbaf Piglanhiv's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Artyogbaf Piglanhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Artyogbaf Piglanhiv's priests.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Always treat gulls with great respect.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never think about moons.