Nelvanrak is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, proud rhinoceros.

Nelvanrak created life two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelvanrak, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nelvanrak, he will destroy your home solar system.

Nelvanrak's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Nelvanrak's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

4. Run away from cyan nematodes, for they are unholy.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.