Tonkqueegfom is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, selfish badger.

Tonkqueegfom created a strange quark two years ago.

If you believe in Tonkqueegfom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tonkqueegfom, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Tonkqueegfom's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Tonkqueegfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed corn to otters while wearing rings.

2. Never wear boots.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Never talk about chlorophyll.

5. Never talk about black holes.