Bopcettun is a god.

He takes the form of a small, effective aardvark.

Bopcettun created a quark four years ago.

If you believe in Bopcettun, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bopcettun, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Bopcettun's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bopcettun's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never look at galaxies.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.