Fenmutxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, thoughtless goat.

Fenmutxuc created a bottom quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Fenmutxuc, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fenmutxuc, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fenmutxuc's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Fenmutxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about photosynthesis.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shave your back.