Yarpnadnig is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, overgenerous rhinoceros.

Yarpnadnig created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarpnadnig, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yarpnadnig, it will send you a sign.

Yarpnadnig's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Yarpnadnig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never feed lots of melons to squirrels while wearing white coats.

3. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Yarpnadnig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never look at moons.

5. Never jump in the presence of geese.