Bamrencit Cabwiptarg is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate fly.

Bamrencit Cabwiptarg created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamrencit Cabwiptarg, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bamrencit Cabwiptarg, she will ignore you.

Bamrencit Cabwiptarg's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Bamrencit Cabwiptarg's Holy Commandments

1. Learn six new languages a year.

2. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate tapirs.

4. Bamrencit Cabwiptarg loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.