Funbutomin is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, effective bat.

Funbutomin created a strange quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Funbutomin, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Funbutomin, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Funbutomin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Funbutomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at dwarf planets.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.