Car is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, sage beaver.

Car created water three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Car, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Car, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Car's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Car's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never wear shoes.

5. Respect your elders.