Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, cheerful weasel.

Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill, she will laugh at you.

Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill's most sacred site is Corsock in Scotland.

Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near dogs while wearing blue skirts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your face.

2. Hide if three squirrels approach from the east.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bunhunster Bigxemflamwee Basskombenrullapparkhigquill.

5. Do not shave your neck.