Yaktin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, happy horse.

Yaktin created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yaktin, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yaktin, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yaktin's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Yaktin's Holy Commandments

1. Yaktin loves whales, so they must be honoured.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not eat lemons.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Never look in ponds.