Tonstigwotnib is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, uncaring hydra.

Tonstigwotnib created energy five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonstigwotnib, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tonstigwotnib, he will strike you with lightening.

Tonstigwotnib's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Tonstigwotnib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about beans.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.