Hatvanfubkik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, conceited hippopotamus.

Hatvanfubkik created water four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hatvanfubkik, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Hatvanfubkik, it will turn you into a hamster.

Hatvanfubkik's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Hatvanfubkik's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never sing in the presence of pigs.

3. Always obey Hatvanfubkik's priests.

4. Do not kill geese.

5. Retreat if three cats approach from the south.