Hasgonwon is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, quiet hummingbird.

Hasgonwon created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Hasgonwon, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Hasgonwon, she will make you grow a tail.

Hasgonwon's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hasgonwon's Holy Commandments

1. Hasgonwon loves doves, so they must be respected.

2. Never feed lots of carrots to bats while wearing magenta shoes.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.