Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, cheerful naga.

Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin created Asia seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin, it will think nothing of it.

Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum field theory near sharks while wearing violet scarves and balancing five platinum spheres on your head.

2. Never hurt bats.

3. Do not take Zigyimmif Honbapcat Tabbafpin's name in vain.

4. Never feed grapes to whales while wearing jumpers.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.