Catquamdudtenstrag is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, smart zebra.

Catquamdudtenstrag created the world four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Catquamdudtenstrag, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Catquamdudtenstrag, she will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Catquamdudtenstrag's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Catquamdudtenstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in mauve rooms.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Catquamdudtenstrag.