Veennarbig is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, merciless mole.

Veennarbig created dark energy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Veennarbig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Veennarbig, he will turn you into a mole.

Veennarbig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Veennarbig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Run away from white dolphins, for they are unholy.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look at asteroids.