Vonkcinfag is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witty dugong.

Vonkcinfag created the Sombrero Galaxy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkcinfag, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vonkcinfag, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Vonkcinfag's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Vonkcinfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Vonkcinfag.

3. Do not laugh in public.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Always help sick ducks.