Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, thoughtless shrew.

Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig created dark energy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig, she will curse you with boils.

Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Dissjapcunnurquamcamsig in the centre of the settlement.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate manatees.

5. Always help gulls in need.