Stiplimcet is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, bad-tempered crab.

Stiplimcet created a quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Stiplimcet, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Stiplimcet, she will throw large rocks at you.

Stiplimcet's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Stiplimcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity near birds while wearing pink shorts.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Never write about photosynthesis.

5. Fast once a month.