Stiprakdan is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, cheerful walrus.

Stiprakdan created bats two billion years ago.

If you believe in Stiprakdan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Stiprakdan, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Stiprakdan's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Stiprakdan's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near manatees while wearing cyan tights and balancing five aluminium spheres on your arms.

3. Never feed apples to goats while wearing dresses.

4. Never write about black holes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.