Gilnurlquart is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, unthoughtful mouse.

Gilnurlquart created the universe three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gilnurlquart, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gilnurlquart, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gilnurlquart's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Gilnurlquart's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry doves.

2. Erect a giant aluminium sculpture of Gilnurlquart in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never jump in holy places.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gilnurlquart.