Bamkannan is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unsympathetic armadillo.

Bamkannan created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bamkannan, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Bamkannan, he will ignore you.

Bamkannan's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Bamkannan's Holy Commandments

1. Hamsters are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bamkannan on top of all buildings.

5. Never chant near eagles.