Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, witless deer.

Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig created the Small Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig, she will turn you into a duck.

Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never feed spinach to dolphins while wearing shirts.

3. Never feed bread to snails while wearing red trousers.

4. Never wear coats.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Narthabstanveg Doghonnartfig.