Narlnulbon Kadparkwabhaktikwipbem is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, annoying spider.

Narlnulbon Kadparkwabhaktikwipbem created an atom four million years ago.

If you believe in Narlnulbon Kadparkwabhaktikwipbem, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Narlnulbon Kadparkwabhaktikwipbem, it will jump up and down on your head.

Narlnulbon Kadparkwabhaktikwipbem's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Narlnulbon Kadparkwabhaktikwipbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never feed corn to badgers while wearing stockings.

4. Do not run in public.

5. Never think about spacetime near pigs while wearing cyan dresses and balancing nine zinc spheres on your feet.