Rakgedyik Xemdumwik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, vain pig.

Rakgedyik Xemdumwik created an up quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Rakgedyik Xemdumwik, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Rakgedyik Xemdumwik, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rakgedyik Xemdumwik's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Rakgedyik Xemdumwik's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Rakgedyik Xemdumwik nine times a day.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never think about amino acids.